Today is the happiest of all Fridays and the happiest of all birthday brunches to me! Wondering how old I am? Old enough to know better, suckers! HA! Sorry if I’m sensitive to this, but I’m a Pisces (on the cusp!). But yes, today is my birthday and yes, tomorrow I will be hung-over as all hell — and definitely needing the perfect brunch. You know what would be a great gift? Voting for Chicago Brunch Blog on the 2010 TOC Eat Out Awards. If you want to, I mean.

Gonna be sippin’ on some syrup this weekend. (Photo: Carly Fisher)

First, let me say where you should NOT have brunch this weekend: pretty much any restaurant involved in Restaurant Week. David Burke’s, for instance, will be closed for brunch this week and next because they’re too busy plating out delicious portions of steak for all you cheapskates trying to get in on discount gourmet dining. Thus, I am not able to get a Brunch in a Box this weekend. Chicago dining scene: 1, Carly: 0. Upwards and onwards, let’s brunch.

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There are a few new postings in the Restaurant Directory, but I won’t tell you which. Browse through your neighborhood’s section and try to guess which one is new. As if you’re doing work anyway.

— Carly Fisher

Plausible reasons for lacking Chicago Brunch Blog updates:

1. Carly is dead.
2. Carly is lazy.
3. Does it matter? I never read updates, I just use the Restaurant Directory.

Actual reasons why Chicago Brunch Blog has not been updated:

1. Carly is alive, but lazy — or mainly preoccupied with work that makes or breaks the bank.
2. Apparently a bad economy and even worse weather means no one wants to leave their house (oftentimes myself included), and brunch promotions are often the first thing cut.
3. Does it matter? No one reads the updates, they just use the Restaurant Directory.

And so, with New Years Resolutions steadily approaching, I vow to update this website as often as I feel like it — which means that the Weekend Brunch Buzz is probably not going to be a weekly feature. However, I’ve decided to increase activity on the Restaurant Directory. After all, winter brunch may not have that flair appeal of chilled mimosas on the veranda that spring and summertime bring, but somewhere out there a line cook is going to wake up at the crack of dawn and make those buttermilk biscuits because, damn it, someone’s going to order them!

And with that said, here are my current brunch winners and losers:

WINNER

Juicy Wine Co.’s Dirty Bird Soul Brunch is my new favorite brunch spot. Harold’s Fried Chicken, orange Crush waffles, and half-off Champagne were the points to get me there, but I was sold when I greeted with intimate seating, no strollers, and some of the best customer services I’ve encountered in the city. If chicken ‘n’ waffles aren’t your thing (and I have no fucking idea WHY), traditionalists a.k.a. boring people, can order eggs and what the owner lovingly referred to as a “baconpalooza” of farm ham.

Brunch is served 11:00 a.m.-4:00 p.m. Juicy Wine Co. is located at  694 N. Milwaukee Ave. in River West. For more information, call 312.492.6620.

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Brunch favorite, Vella Cafe, is now serving dinner. While this is a brunch-specific blog, I do make the exception for Vella because on one hand, I love it, but also, this: the Baconegger pizza. When I heard of the fried egg on the Kuma burger, I was skeptical. But I am now a believer in anything involving fried egg and meat. Somehow fried egg and bacon really adds something unexpected and wonderful to a pizza, and a whole lot of cholesterol to my body.

Vella Cafe now serves dinner Wed. – Fri. until 9 pm, resuming the week after New Years. The cafe will be open for a Hangover New Years Brunch on the 1st from 10 am – 3 pm. Vella is located at 1912 N. Western Ave. in Bucktown. Brunch is served Mon.-Fri 7:00 a.m.-3:00 p.m., Sat. & Sun. 9:00 a.m.-3:00 p.m. (weekend menu). For more information, call 773.489.7777.

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LOSER

Though I’ve avoided saying anything about this brunch darling for a long time, I can no longer hold of my criticism of Orange. What was once a pioneer among the gourmet brunch spots, introducting fruishi, pancake flights, and orange coffee to the masses, has now become a consistent source of disappointment.

When Orange first opened, I was in love — and we all were! What wasn’t there to like about the cozy Lakeview spot nestled between a head shop and a retirement home, and across the street from what was once the only place in town to purchase spikes and bondage gear? Decorative touches like glossy magazine menus and original artwork on the wall used to be fun and eclectic, much like the staff. Over the past year and a half, the atmosphere has become increasingly sterile and cold, and unfortunately, the dishes seem to reflect this as well. The third location to open in Roscoe Village seems to embody the loss of character this restaurant once had. Dark, full of gaudy fixtures and boring artwork, more effort can be found at a Denny’s than at this location.

I’ve been to all three locations, and often entertained out of town guests at many. But these days, I often cringe when someone suggests going to Orange. I continued to give chance after chance, each time leaving more disappointed than the last. In addition to poor customer service from inattentive and unfriendly staff, my plates often arrive cold or overcooked. The last pancake flight my table ordered was rubbery and unimpressive, while my caprese benedict and hash was room temperature on arrival. Even their beloved fruishi seemed a bit half assed.

Although wait time at this restaurant never seems to decrease, I often wonder if reputation and hype are the factors for visitation than quality. I can say that what was once a regular hangout for me has now become a last resort. With the overwhelming amount of brunch competitors, when making recommendations, Orange is certainly not in my top 10. However, for information and popularity sake, I will not shun Orange from the brunch site, but I refuse to give accolades where it is not due.

— Carly Fisher

By popular demand or desperation, the Breakfast with Lincoln Park Zoo’s Apes dine-and-learn is back on Nov. 9 from 9:30-11:00 a.m. Hosted by Curator of Primates Sue Margulis, Ph.D., the program includes a lecture, breakfast, and viewing session of adorable primates in their most active time of day, which Lincoln Park Zoo promises will be “the wildest breakfast you’ll ever eat!” The program costs $65 for Lincoln Park Zoo members and $75 for non-members. Interestingly enough, children under 12 years of age are not permitted, which makes me suspect potential frisky monkey business. For more information, visit www.lpzoo.org.

The brunch at C-House is totally boss — bossa nova, that is! (Note: Honestly, these bad puns kill me as much as they hurt you. Really). Seriously though, the brunch menu at C-House amazing. Naturally, a menu can’t be bossa nova without some sort of Brazilian influence, and C-House delivers with house made Caipirinhas and white pineapple sangria, churrasco and eggs, and feijoda, poached egg, pork hash, and rice and beans. Brunch is featured every Saturday and Sunday from 10:30 a.m.-3:00 p.m. C-House is located at 166 E. Superior in Streeterville.

Some of us don’t mind the dismal grey fall skies, but I guess solipsistic denial is a common winter survival trait for Chicagoans. For the baromatic escapist, Sola’s California/Hawaiian flair brunch is a delightful and delicious way to fill the void. Prices are fairly reasonable and selections are eclectic. For the sweet tooth, there are entrees like banana macadamia nut pancakes, while those with a heartier appetite might lean towards the black forest omelet with gruyere, crispy leeks, black forest ham and caramelized onions, or the matzo brei with onions, fennel, spinach, matzo and boursin. For a twist on the classic brunch mimosa, Sola spins a Maui-mosa with champagne, pineapple and passionfruit juice.  Brunch runs Saturday and Sunday from 10:00 a.m.-2:00 p.m. Sola is located at 3868 N. Lincoln Ave. in Lincoln Park.

It might not be this weekend, but it’s definitely worth noting: the Chicago Botanical Gardens are featuring a Dim Sum cooking class with author and chef Ying Stoller. It takes place Thursday, Nov. 13th from 1:00-3:00 p.m. in the Fruit & Vegetable Garden Demonstration Kitchen at the Chicago Botanical Gardens in Glencoe (alright, I generally swear by Chicago, but it’s close enough by car and after being inspired by a gorgeous north shore drive-by last weekend  and generally excusable weather to enjoy the outdoors, I make an exception. So don’t shoot the messanger). $59 for members and $74 for non-members. Chicago Botanic Gardens are located at 1000 Lake Cook Rd. in Glencoe.

— Carly Fisher

Given that I pay $6/mo. to share internet with my neighbors, I suppose I’m getting what I pay for when my internet goes out for a week while they are out of town on a business trip. As much as I’d love to update from work, I don’t get paid to do this full-time, soooo, uh,  the Chicago Brunch Blog is kind of half-hearted this week. Sorry, dudes.

For the post-Halloween brunch, O’Donovans is throwing an all-you-can-eat buffet for those who partied down at O’Donovan’s, Kincade’s, Kelsey’s, Kendall’s, and possibly some other Irish bar I’ve failed to mention. Present your ticket stub from Halloween parties thrown at these bars and get your first drink free. Brunch is featured Saturday and Sunday from 10:00 a.m.-2:00 p.m. $13.95 for adults and $6.95 for kids 10 and under.

Meanwhile, Matisse Tavern concludes their three day fright fest with a Sunday Bloody Funday brunch from 11:00 a.m.-3:00 p.m. featuring $4 bloody marys, $3 bellinis and Nintendo Wii and board games.

If you’re ready to move on from this October shtick, some places are right there with you. Summer is gone and it’s not getting any warmer. Find someone new to share the warmth and the Peoples Gas bill with at the American Dim Sum Singles Brunch at David Burke’s Primehouse on Sunday, Nov. 2 at noon. For 57 bones you can eat less intimidating dim sum in a slightly intimidating singles mingler. Registration is required at singlegourmetchicago.com.

— Carly Fisher

The Chicago Brunch Blog will be on vacation this week. Come back next week for slightly spooky post-Halloween brunch events. In the meantime, please feel free to check out the Restaurant Directory to find plenty of brunch times and locations for restaurants in your area.

 — Carly Fisher

Despite an onslaught of adverts cracking recession jokes, I have yet to see restaurants crumble with desperation and offer the much needed “recession deals” that broke-ass Americans like myself really need — the exception being alcohol-related. Naturally, amid an economic crisis, booze prevails. Here are some brunch vices you can deal with this weekend.

Brunch is back at Juicy Wine Co. and thank God for that. It may not be the $5 brunch we need, but Harold’s Fried Chicken, Orange Crush waffles, half-priced champagne and the smooth sounds of DJ Puff-E will suffice. The Dirty Bird Bubble Bath soul brunch starts this Sunday, Oct. 19 from 11:00 a.m.-4:00 p.m. Juicy Wine Co. is located at  694 N. Milwaukee Ave. in River West. For more information, call 312.492.6620.

Attendants of Twisted Spoke’s popular Smut & Eggs Saturday night special are probably in it more for the smut than the late-night brunch menu, but the option still stands. But if you can’t stomach hardcore porn and hard-cooked eggs together, the bar and grill offers a biker brunch during normal Sunday morning hours from 9:00 a.m.-3:00 p.m. Twisted Spoke is located at 501 N. Ogden Ave. in West Town. For more information, call 312.666.1500.

For the financially deprived, Zapatista still has five brunch entrees available for $5 each, which leaves you with a few extra bucks to splurge on a margarita pitcher. Zapatista is located at 1307 S. Wabash Ave. in the South Loop. For more information, call 312.435.1307.

Not sure if this is a vice or a virtue, but it’s definitely something different. Polo Cafe & Catering’s Bloody Mary Brunch features the divine Eggs Benedicto XVI, a “Trinity of poached eggs atop whole-y wheat toast and grilled German bratwurst sausage with creamy St. Basil Pesto Hollandaise sauce and fresh fruit garnish” that is supposedly served with a photo of the dopest pope himself and a candle to keep you company. Brunch is served Saturdays from 9:00 a.m.-2:00 p.m. Polo Cafe & Catering is located at 3322 S. Morgan St. in Bridgeport. For more information, call 773.927.POLO.

 — Carly Fisher

Zagat beat me to the punch with this one: Chicago’s gourmet vegetarian restaurant, Green Zebra, is offering brunch-goers “a choice between a complimentary five-spice pecan sticky bun or mimosa. For now the offer is expected to last until the end of October, but if guests respond well … the deal may continue.”

Brunch is featured Sundays from 10:30 a.m.-2:00 p.m. Green Zebra is located at 1460 W. Chicago Ave. in West Town. For more information, call 312.243.7100.

— Carly Fisher

45,000 Chicago Marathon runners can’t be wrong: no brunch for you! If you do manage to bypass the masses, go get gluttonous at these brunch spots:

Well, whaddya know? It’s a restaurant in Lincoln Park that is not on the war path and also manages to be healthy enough to make you feel slightly less guilty that you decided to stuff your face instead of running 26 miles! Karyn’s Raw is offering a raw vegan brunch buffet on Sunday, Oct. 12 for $29.99 from 11:30 a.m.-3:30 p.m. Karyn’s Raw is located at 1901 N. Halsted St. in Lincoln Park. For more information, call 312.255.1590.

For the unconventional brunch goer on the North Side, Viceroy of India features a buffet daily from 11:30 a.m.-3:30 p.m. for $11.95. Expect more savories than sweets, and probably no French Toast. Or, if you have no one to eat with and/or had a falling out with your best friend and need a quick replacement, wait a week and join the Chicago Brunch Club Meetup group (not affiliated with Chicago Brunch Blog) when they dine at Viceroy on Oct. 18. Viceroy of India is located at 2520 W. Devon Ave. in the Little India neighborhood. For information, call 773.743.4100.

Screw the race and toss back a drink or three at the Blue Line Club Car’s weekly Hangover Brunch on Saturday and Sunday from 9:00 a.m.-4:00 p.m.. Bloody Marys can’t get cheaper at $3, which means your hangover won’t get any worse. Blue Line Club Car is located at 1548 N. Damen Ave. in Wicker Park. For more information, call 773.395.3700.

Unless you live in the neighborhood or have some reason to be there, I know Avondale isn’t really the top of the brunch dining destinations. However, Orbit Room’s Sunday brunch entrees like coconut-dipped French Toast and crab cake benedicts, combined with $5 Mimosas and Bloody Marys and $2 Point Lite Bottles might be worth the trip. The retro-themed bar and grill features brunch on Sundays from 11:00 a.m.-3:00 p.m. Orbit Room is located at 2959 N. California Ave. in Avondale. For more information, call 773.588.8540.

— Carly Fisher

What:   Dirty Bird Bubble Bath Soul Brunch
When:  starting Sunday, Oct. 19, 2008 from 11:00 a.m.-4:00 p.m.
Where: Juicy Wine Co.
             694 N Milwaukee Ave. in River West. 
             312.492.6620.

Once upon a time, Juicy Wine Co. unveiled a $5 brunch, and then one day, it just disappeared. Unfortunately, no one else seemed to catch on, and thus was still being advertised for months after its demise. While we may have seen the end of the bargain brunch, Juicy is back Sunday morn with a new flava under the guise of the Dirty Bird Bubble Bath Soul Brunch, beginning Sunday, October 19th from 11:00 a.m.-4:00 p.m. (and hopefully every Sunday following).

Despite the fact Chicago still hasn’t gotten its own Roscoe’s, Chicagoans still love their chicken ‘n’ waffles, which is why Juicy has chosen to feature Chicago’s own Harold’s Fried Chicken paired with Orange Crush Waffles as the Soul specialty. And naturally, because Juicy Wine Co. is a bar, hung-over patrons are not only welcomed, but encouraged to drink off their hang-overs with half-off all Champagne and sparking wine — glass or bottle (I suspect delicious mimosas).

And because you can’t be funky if you haven’t got a soul, Juicy is pulling out DJ Puff-E to spin classic American soul music. 

 — Carly Fisher