Today’s article is brought to you by Chase Bank, a company that derives sadistic pleasure from calling their loyal customers with an automated message at 8:00 in the fucking morning on a Saturday to share an “important message.” You’re dead to me, Chase. You hear me? DEAD.

Interrupted Dreams (Photo: Carly Fisher)

Well, now that I’m up against my will, before we launch into this weekend’s brunch party-all-the-time options, I am kindly requesting that you take a moment to click “follow” on the @chibrunchblog Twitter page. I know that prizes are pretty popular on a lot of blogs these days, so I am giving away a genuine e-autograph to the 200th follower! No need to hurt yourselves scrambling to add, as there will be plenty of similar intangible swag to be had. 

And now, where to brunch this weekend.

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You really have to hand it to these guys for making the quintessential foodie pipe dream into a reality. Not going to lie; I really thought this was a cruel joke. Yet over a year in the making, Baconfest Preview Cook-off tickets have officially gone on sale (get them here), delighting pork enthusiasts everywhere. My love of pig (especially eating them) almost brings feeling to the place in which there used to be a heart. Thank you.

If a celebration of brunch’s best sidekick isn’t enough reason to lay down $75, check out the all-star line up:

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First and foremost, how the hell did this escape my brunch radar by a good six months (or, if we’re going to get all technical about it, two years)? Despite a personal aversion to musicals, I find it offensive that Chicago has not adapted this off-Broadway production. Get it together, Chi-City. Are you really going to let New York sucker punch us in theater AND brunch (again)?  

BRUNCH is a new rock musical about the New York City restaurant scene from the eyes of those who do the serving. It’s about the daily grind, specials, romances, firings, tips and VIPs that inhabit every restaurant, bistro, café and diner in the city. BRUNCH follows a cast of characters — waiters, bartenders and managers — through the most hectic shift of the week, from the first cup of coffee to the last reservation at the tension-filled, comically riotous, patience-trying shift at the end of the restaurant week — Brunch!

Honestly, do we need another modern adaptation of Oedipus Rex that parallels Russian communist propaganda? Or could we benefit from a rock-and-roll adaptation of singing, hungover waitstaff forgetting omelets and talking shit for a few hours? I think we all know the answer to that.

— Carly Fisher

Fun fact: I was almost love struck by the UPS truck while crossing the street the other day and therefore definitely in need of a killer brunch (I swear, sometimes I suffer from these kinds of puns).

Is it Saturday yet? (Photo: Carly Fisher)

On a side note, I’d like to send my condolences to Ashley and Michael, as they skip off into the land of blissful matrimony. This is justifiably relevant content, as they are having a brunch wedding this Sunday. Current plan is to eat the fuck out of everything.

Since none of you are invited to this shindig, check out these brunch spots for your own morning.

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Side salads may be the endless plight of vegetarians everywhere, but there is good news: searching for a meat-free brunch in Chicago need not be as daunting as sitting through a certain 1993 romantic comedy with a premise so ridiculous even Kim Basinger it turned down.

Hate Meg Ryan; love French toast

While there’s no doubt the city has come down with a case of Offal Fever, eating veggies is never out of style. In celebration of National Vegetarian Day (Oct. 1), Chicago Brunch Blog brings you a list of venues that steer away from red meat.
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Let’s take two seconds out of brunch for a little real talk here: I am on a trip to depression city about the season finale of True Blood. So many questions plague me. Can Lafayette be possessed AND sassy? When are Sookeh and Erik going to do it already? How much longer must I suffer with Evan Rachel Wood’s acting? And what is up with that egg? Will the sacrifice come at brunch? And if Maryann dies, does that mean no more awesome brunch spreads?

If you don’t follow True Blood, don’t hate. On the plus side, you’ll never have to see anything Gossip Girl related. Oh well. Now that I have nothing to consume my Sunday nights for a fucking year, I guess that means I have to start watching Lost.

I’m a real bitch in the morning without brunch too.

I digress: this weekend, there is more brunch to be had. Some old, some new, all delicious.

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Time to buddy up with your favorite D.D. or call a cab, because today we are boozin’ U.S.A.!  Although Friday and Saturday nights certainly have their sloppy charm, nothing beats a good ol’ fashioned mid-day brunch buzz. Am I right, or am I right?

Pick yourself up, cowboy and go get some brunch (Photo: Crosson)

And so, here it is: your Chicago Brunch Blog guide to Bloody Marys, mimosas, and other liquid vices for the curious, the feisty, the indulgent, and yes, even the destitute.

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Being that Xoco has been on the tip of every media outlet’s tongue for what seems like eternity, the restaurant’s September 8th opening is long overdue. Look, cut the guy a break. Rick Bayless is a Top Chef Master who spends half of his time in remote parts of Mexico drinking mezcal with shamans and shit. It’s a rough life.

Is it really jacket weather already? Where the hell has summer been hiding?  Given that it is very possible this might be last warm weekend, take advantage of these outdoor brunch spots:

High Noon at C-View

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Boy, that was a long “48 hours.”  Thanks, Mark. (Photo: Charis)